EWE LIVE #5: September 23rd, 2009

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eWe Live Recap - by Christina Carter aka Christy Chaos
Actually written by: JAY
Date: September 23rd, 2009
Turnout: 11/12 RolePlays

Hey folks, it's me, Christy Chaos! I gotta say I'm super stoked EWE is back, and I'll definately be signing a Contract sometime in the near future, just can't right now. Anyway, Their 1st show back happened to be in my home town, so of course I had to check it out!

The Event took place in Municible Autiorium in Kansas City Missouri of course. The house was packed, though it's no Kemper Arena, still decent sized, perfect for a house show event like this. As the show got under way "Psycho" by Puddle of Mudd came over the PA speakers, man thats a cool song. First we didn't know what was going on, then this bald guy came walking out. I don't know who he is, doesn't really look that familar, but he got in the ring and got a mic, that's when he introduced himself as Michael Jensen, The C.E.O. of a very powerful company called Jensen Inustries, more importantly, he is now the C.E.O. of Extreme Wrestling Entertainment. Basically, he's the one we gotta thank for the ressurrection of our favorite Federation. Jensen had first said next week's show on September 30th has been cancled due to lack of Superstar availability. This sucked to hear of course, canceling shows already can't be good for a Fed trying to come back from the dead. He made some more assuring announcements though, He stated "I guess EWE has that kind of rep, Networks don't even need to see our first show before they make me an offer, because the ink is still wet, We have already signed a contract with Spike TV." He said on October 23rd EWE Presents the network primere of Black Friday. That made us all cheer of course, but then he said October 23rd is only the network debut of Black Friday though, the real debut is on October 16th, which confused us for a second. He then went on to state that The October 7th eddition of EWE Live will be broadcasted live via JensenIndustries.com/ewelive. He said the reason for this is that show will be a very special one. That's when he announced the 2009 King of Xtreme Tournament, and that show is broadcasted live over the web for that reason, October 7th is a full card of nothing but KOX Qualifyers. It will boil down where 8 Finalists will leave October 7th, those 8 Finalists will go on to October 16th, the Debut of Black Friday, a special edition of Black Friday, cause as mentioned it won't be on Spike TV, but rather on Pay Per View! On that show the Mid Eastern Title will be crowned, also The 8 Finalists will finish off the King of Xtreme Tournament, where the 4 people who lose the Quarter Finals, will face in a 4 way for the International Championship. The losers of the Semi Finals, and Finals..will later on have a Triple Threat for #1 contendership...while the person who survives the 3 Grueling Matches of the Tournament at Black Friday, will be not only crowned the 2009 King of Xtreme, but also the Brand new EWE Champion! thats when he pulled the newly designed title out of his duffle bag to show it off.

Kyle Deathlocke vs Chris Hart
Hart came to play in this match, He looked pretty good, expecially for a first match in who knows how long. Deathlocke did ok, but it seemed he showed up late, metaphorically speaking, because Hart dominated most the match, til towards the end Deathlocke finally started showing some life....too little too late though, after Hart locked in the Culture Shock, that was all she wrote.

The screen by the door blinks to life as the crowd sees EWE's new Director of Talent Relations, "The Mad Aussie" Adam Stone. He's holding a large manilla folder over his arm, flipping through papers with his free hand, as if it were a book. Just then, EWE Chairman

Michael Jensen walks up behind him.

Michael Jensen: Well, hello there Mr. Stone, how are we doing on those new applications?

Adam Stone: Ah, brilliant mate. They should be on the roster site by the end of the day.

Michael Jensen: Good, good.... Hey listen, I've got another job for you.

Adam Stone: Yeah? What's that?

Jensen reaches into his jacket and pulls out a piece of paper, handing it to Stone.

Michael Jensen: These are the names of all the entries into the King Of Xtreme tournament... what I need from you is to scout them, and put together qualifiers for me. The only catch is, I want the best Top 8 possible. We gotta draw in the viewers to order the Pay Per View after all, so just don't let too many of our top guys get knocked out too early, okay?

A big grin crosses Stone's face as he thinks of the possbilities.

Adam Stone: Right-o. No problem.

Jensen smiles back, pleased at Adam's confidence.

Michael Jensen: Very good.... I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

Jensen turns to walk away as Stone mutters to himself....

Adam Stone: Me too, boy-o. Me too.

The scene fades to black as we return to the arena just in time to hear "Voices" by Rev Theory as Orton makes his entrance and ABL watches on from already in the ring.

Randy Orton vs Altar Boy Luke
This match was fairly one sided, with Orton living up to his claims and putting on a clinic with Altar Boy Luke as his demonstration dummy. Fairly straight forward finish, as Randy put down Luke with an RKO to get the 3-count, but the most noteworthy part of this match actually came after the bell. Just as Orton was getting ready to leave, he looked back and saw Luke still laying there, and I guess he decided that wasn't good enough. He returned to the center of the ring and started stomping the hell out of Luke, until the much smaller man began to stir back to life. With a slight sign of consciousness back in his opponent, The Viper backed up to the corner, leaning himself in for leverage, but holding onto the ropes. Just as Luke started to get up to his knees, Randy fired out of the corner and nailed him with the most brutal punt kick I've ever seen out of him. You could almost hear the sound of Luke's skull collapsing. Officials filled the ring to keep Randy off of him as he was atended to by medics, but I'd be very surprised if we saw Altar Boy Luke again any time soon.

There was another scene, but I was on the phone with my brother, so I missed it...hopefully it wasn't anything important.

The Miz vs El Rey de Sexy
Miz & El Rey came out and got the next match started. El Rey started off with the momentum in his favor, but Miz quickly took the momentum right back. Miz started gettin cocky though, and started posing to a booin crowd, which allowed ERDS to sneak a roll up, that Miz was barely able to kick out in time. El Rey tries to lock in the Sentir la Sexy or Feel The Sexy...Miz quickly fights out of it though, ERDS hits a quick clothesline, then climbs up the turnbukle and wants to shoot for The King's Sexiness possibly, but Maryse starts to flirt with him and tells him to "come" ERDS gets down and dumbly walks over to her curious, she smiles while Miz pulls the ref over to him, and they argue. With the ref distracted, Maryse knees ERDS in the gut and shoves him back, Miz moves the ref out of the way and pegs ERDS with the Reality Check for a quick 3 count. The crowd boos as Miz n Maryse celebrate their win.

Once again, the screen comes to life on the image of DOTR Adam Stone. This time he's leaning against the counter in a backstage kitchen sort of area, with a large catering table beside him. He's holding a small notebook, jotting down notes, presumably making plans of some sort, as Johnny Chaos enters the scene. He grabs an apple off of the catering table and takes a bite out of it before looking up and seemingly noticing Stone for the first time.

Johnny Chaos: Well well well, look what we have here...

Stone looks up as Johnny closes the distance between them to stand only a couple of feet from Stone's face.

Johnny Chaos : If it isn't the "talent relations" guy.... now, seems to me, I'm the talent... so I guess your job is to make me happy, huh?

Adam Stone: Listen mate, I dunno what the deal is with that slag of a wife of yours... but I don't do that kind of "relations" okay... so maybe you best step back.

Johnny looks off to one side, an aggrivated expression crossing his face.

Johnny Chaos : That's obviously NOT what I meant.... let me explain it to you a little more clearly.

Johnny picks up the free hand that isn't holding the apple and pokes a finger into Stone's chest.

Johnny Chaos: I heard YOU were booking these qualifying matches... now, what you need to understand, is i WILL be the next EWE Champion...no matter who I have to go through to get it. Buuuuut.... if you value your health...

Johnny mockingly straightens the lapel of Stone's suit jacket.

Johnny Chaos: You'll make damn sure I have an easy time in the qualifiers... after all, you wouldn't wanna burn out your top talent right away, would you?

Stone takens a deep breath, sets the book on the counter, and stands straight up, adjusting his jacket.

Adam Stone: Alright.... I heard you out.... now it's my turn.

He gives Johnny a shove, backing him into the catering table. Before Johnny can react, Stone picks up his infamously solid right hand, with the shining college rugby championship ring he developed a reputation for using to knock out his opponents.

Adam Stone: Uh uh uh.... not so fast. Now, you sit tight in listen, cause I'm only gonna say this once. I'm not just some suit idiots like you can push around and get their way. I used to leave punks twice as good as you bloddied and begging for the release of death, so you don't scare me one bit.... got it?

Johnny doesn't say anything, as his nostrils flare while he stares at Stone, infuriated.

Adam Stone: Secondly, you better be real damn thankful that Jensen ordered me to put together the best top 8 I can because, full of yourself or not, you ARE well known around here... which means, TECHNICALLY, I can't just go and make sure you never make it to Black Friday, much as I might love to. What I CAN do, is make sure you're in no condition.... mentally OR physically, to win the thing. So I tell ya what.... your qualifying match is going to be a tag team match... you will face a pair of randomly selected opponents, but your partner won't be random AT ALL. It'll be somebody with whom you are very....

Stone gets in Johnny's face this time, fist still raised.

Adam Stone: ...VERY familiar. So, Mr. Chaos, I wish you the best of luck... but with all due respect, I've got work to do.... so get the fuck out of my face before I'm tempted to plead self defense, and knock you out of King of Xtreme right now.

He backs up a few steps and points the way Johnny came in. Reluctantly, but obviously realizing he's not helping his position, Johnny backs away, and tuns to walk off in the direction of Stone's finger, never turning his back to the man. As soon as Johnny is off camera, Stone pulls out his cellphone and enters a number, then holds it to his ear.

Adam Stone: Hey boy-o.... it's Adam.... Yeah, you ready to compete in a couple weeks? Good... I think I got just the match for you...

And that's all we see as the picture cuts out.

Edge vs Chris Jericho
In my opinion this is one of the best matches in the night. Jericho came to the ring first, he got a bit of a pop to be honest but then got on the mic and talked trash, i can't really remember word for word but he was on about the things he and edge have in common, being candadian, former WWE champions etc, then what they don't, and said he was the best basically. Edge came out, for a douchebag he got a huge pop. The match started boring they locked up and pushed eachother around for abit and then Jericho complained about an eye gauge, they did the same again and then Edge complained about his hair being pulled - honestly, the pair of women. They exchanged blows with Edge taking control, he hit a scoopslam and then a flapjack and made a few covers but Jericho got out quick, the momentum changer was when Edge got caught with a enziguri, both men stuggled up but Jericho got in first and hit chops on edge and then sent him into the ropes and nailed one of the hardest clotheslines i've ever seen, he pinned but Edge got out easily. The match continued back and forth, it was actually great to watch technically but there weren't many highlights during the match. I went to get a drink, and when i got back Jericho was trying to lock in the walls but Edge got the ropes before he could even get it in, as Edge got up Jericho went for a cheapshot, I'm not sure but i think Edge got a low blow but either way the ref missed it, Edge rolled Jericho up but only got 2 and a half. Edge got up and dropped Jericho with a big boot pinning again but Jericho got his foot to the ropes, The rated R superstar kept his focus though and went to the corner, the fans got hyped up and started to scream knowing he wanted to hit a spear, Jericho got up and as Edge charged jumped backwards landing with his feet on the middle rope, Edge flew between his legs and hit the ring post, Jericho somebody rolled from the top and sunset flipped Edge getting the pin but somehow Edge got out. The match was getting good at this point, as Angelina Love must have thought being as she came onto the stage to get a closer look. Jericho stalked Edge and nailed the codebreaker after he got up, Edge landed square in the middle of the ring, Jericho got up and went for the lionsault, but then saw Angelina. He looked at her for a few seconds and then jumped out to the ropes and sprung back nailing a perfect lionsault - apart from the fact Edge wasn't there and he landed on the mat. Jericho slowly struggled to his feet, his gut was red.. providing a nice target for Edge to nail a spear and pick up a win - but let's not get this wrong, Jericho looked very good and perhaps Angelina Love's distraction cost him what would have been a very, very impressive win.

The screen comes backstage again, this time we don't know where it is, cause we instantly see the faces of Triple H & Shawn Michaels, which everyone cheers.

Triple H: You know Shawn, I'm glad me and you got back together.

Shawn Michaels: err...we did...does Steph know you're into men too?

Triple H: That's not what I meant Shawn..

Shawn Michaels: Oh

Triple H: You know who else should be noted that we're back?

Shawn Michaels: The Extreme Connection, our opponents?

Triple H: I mean, besides them..

Shawn Michaels: You got me..

Triple H: Michael Jensen, our new boss

Shawn Michaels: Oh yes, the new Vince McMahon, in EWE Terms.

Triple H: Exactly...being the new Vince McMahon, he should be warned about us.

Shawn Michaels: Hmm...why would you say such a thing?

Triple H: Well I don't know Shawn, but we do gotta thank the guy for bringing EWE Back.

Shawn Michaels: You mean the present we got him?

Triple H: Of course..

Shawn Michaels: GAS eat your hearts out..

Triple H: I told you not to eat those last burritos.

Shawn Michaels: No, I meant Pimp My Ride...they got nothing on us Degenerates

The pair steps aside, as we see what used to be a nice car. But now it has DX Grafitti all over it, from the big "DX" on the windshield...to "suck It" written on the hood and another small DX logo on the front license plate written over "Jensen".

Triple H: A Custom paint job for our boss...a thank you, from the Degenerates.

Shawn Michaels: No need to thank us boss...it was our pleasure.

Triple H: Folks, DX is back...bigger, and better than ever...all I can ask is one question..

HHH signals to HBK as the pair walks off, just then "ARE YOU READY" echos threw the arena as the crowd cheers. The song continues on, like normal til it hits "BREAK IT DOWN" DX comes out through the curtains to a huge ovation, this time they have Stephanie with them. They continue to make their entrance, doing the standard four cross chops with Green X Pyro behind them. Stephanie grabs a mic and hands it to HHH as the music dies out.

Triple H: Like I was saying...I only got one question for ya.......Are You Ready?

The crowd cheers, but HHH shakes his head as he walks over to climb on the corner.

Triple H: No...Kansas City...This is EWE's Return...The Return of D-Generation X!...you gotta do better than that..I SAID!....ARE YOU READY?!!

The crowd explodes as HHH returns to the center of the ring, pleased.

Triple H: That's better...now...for the Thousands in Attendence...for the Millions watching at Home...

Shawn taps Hunter and whispers in his ear.

Triple H: Like I was saying...for the Thousands in Attendence...and... well, I can't think of anything else right now..

The crowd sighs a little bit as HHH looks up

Triple H: hey cut me some slack, it's been awhile since we done this...we'll get it back together...

Slight laughter from the crowd as HHH looks down...at this point we hear a few boos in the crowd, but dont know why yet.

Triple H: LLLLLETS GET READY

Before HHH can finish he's cracked in the back by Alex Stone, as the crowd boos. Shawn is about to deliver some Sweet Chin Music, but is speared by Johnny instead. Johnny continues punching at Shawn, while Stone stomps at HHH. Stephanie at this point is pleadin with them to stop, but gets a Dramatic Impact for her trouble. Finally after getting a few extra refs, they break them up and get order restored to offiially start this match.

D-Generation X vs The Extreme Connection
Obviously after the cheap attack, Extreme Connection has the full advantage to begin this match. Seriously, you don't know how painful it is to call one of them my brother. Johnny and Alex was doing a number on HBK, keeping him isolated as they tagged in and out. After all this isolating, at one point Johnny gets HBK locked in the Chaos Effect...to which HBK finds the ropes, the ref yells at Johnny to let go, and gets a 4 count before he does. Johnny tags Stone back in, and Stone now tries to lock HBK in the Time Breaker, HBK quickly knocks him back though, then nails Sweet Chin Music! The crowd explodes, but HBK falls dead to the mat. While both men lay there for a minute..they begin crawling...Stone gets Johnny...but HBK gets a very fresh Triple H as well! HHH comes in and cleans house, taking Johnny down with a clothesline. He backs up then gives Johnny a running high knee...then does the same to Stone that was coming in...HHH continues to get pumped up as he drops both Stone and Chaos with Double A Spinbusters...he does his signal as Johnny gets up, HHH kicks him in the gut, and delievers The Pedigree!...but as he covers...he notices Drama is flirting with the ref. HHH is about to say something, but he's low blowed by Alex Stone. Stone then nails HHH with the Time-Out as he goes for the cover...Drama hops out of the way letting the ref make the count...only for HBK to break up the count, to the crowd's approval. It starts gettin crazy now with everyone flying around, noone knowing who is even legal anymore...but HBK nails Alex with Sweet Chin Music for a 2nd time...as he goes to cover, Drama is again flirting with the Ref...HBK simply gets up...and delievers Sweet Chin Music, to Drama! knocking her off the apron. As HBK turns around though, he is given an Extreme MakeOver...while Triple H takes another Time Out...and both make the cover for the win.

The Match is over...but The Extreme Connection doesn't seem to be done with DX. They continue to beat them down, while the crowd boos. Finally someone comes from the crowd, it's James Ceno?! hes come to put an end to this beatdown. Ceno slides into the ring, while Chaos & Stone slide out with cocky grins on their faces. The Extreme Connection talk shit while Ceno just stands their arguing back.

After that EC left, and Ceno checked on DX...when DX came too, they gave everyone in the front row autographs, cept me, something about I can see them anytime or something...I dunno, anyway I'm off here, I hope ya'll are ready for The Charismatic Diva to make a comeback soon, but til then, just get ready For the King of Xtreme!

» EWE LIVE #3: January 7th, 2009
» EWE LIVE #6: October 7th, 2009
» EWE LIVE #4: January 14th, 2009
» Black Friday #1: October 23rd, 2009
» Monday Night Chaos #169: September 23rd, 2013